


The Old Soldier

by RetroHeart



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RetroHeart/pseuds/RetroHeart
Summary: Chris Redfield has been through way too much in his life.  He’s been wallowing away for a while.  But one day, someone he’s been avoiding stops by and gets Chris to open up.Canon retcon; Major Character Death undone.
Relationships: Piers Nivans/Chris Redfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	The Old Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes your brain says “hey, let’s psychoanalyze someone who’s been through some fucked up shit and make it kinda homoerotic” at 3am and you just gotta roll with it. enjoy it y’all.

It was a rather ordinary summer evening. In a small apartment downtown, an older gentleman was pouring himself a bowl of cereal while his TV played in the background. There was a sullen expression worn on his face, one that hadn’t seen as much sun lately as it used to. His cell phone buzzed a few times on the counter, but he simply ignored it and sat down heavily on his couch, cereal in hand as he resumed watching some comedy special he had already seen before.

Another of the same old nights for Chris Redfield.

Though he was looking at the screen, he wasn’t actually watching what was on. It just seemed like a blur to him. But the noise was preferable to the quiet. The bags beginning to form under his eyes were a testament to his restless nights of late. His normally well kept beard was beginning to get a little longer than he liked. But he just couldn’t find the energy to do anything about it lately.

A sharp knock on his door snapped him out of his daze. He wasn’t expecting any company. He didn’t  _ want _ any company. Chris figured if he just ignored it, they’d go away. Not so, unfortunately for him. The knock sounded again, though more insistent this time. The man let out a sigh, and walked over to his door, opening it casually and speaking before he could see who was there

“Sorry, but is this important, because I really-“ He froze. Standing in front of him was a younger man. His partner that he had been intentionally avoiding for some time now. “Piers?” He managed.

“Captain.” He said coolly. “Can I come in?” Chris had to swallow a lump in his throat before he could speak again.

“Yeah, sure. You know you don’t need to ask, Piers.” His subordinate stepped into the room, shutting the door carefully behind him.

“Force of habit.” He strode over to his captain and took a seat on the couch next to him. They sat wordlessly for a while. Getting tired of the silence, Piers spoke up. “Anything good on tonight?” Chris shook his head as he downed another spoon of cereal.

“Nothing new. I’ve seen these same action movies and stand up routines so many times,” he started, getting up and carrying his bowl over to the kitchen as he continued, “it all gets old after seeing them over and over.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Piers’ eyes followed his captain’s actions around the apartment, not shifting his gaze much. “Did you have any kind of games or anything you’d want to play?”

“I’m in my forties, Piers. I don’t really do video games much anymore.” Piers rolled his eyes and started flipping through the channels on the television. The silence continued again. At this point it was starting to get on his nerves.

“Let’s play some cards, then. Come on, I’ll deal.”

“Sure, Piers,” came the dry reply. Piers swallowed a curse, and grabbed his deck of playing cards from his back pocket. Chris walked back over with another bowl of cereal and plopped himself unceremoniously opposite the young man.

“Standard five card?”

“Sounds good to me.” They nodded, and Piers dealt out the hands deftly. Another nod, and they both picked up their hands, studying them carefully.

“You don’t live around here. What made you come out this way?” Chris asked as he slid two cards over to Piers. He swapped them out as he answered the question.

“I was in the neighborhood for some personal business. Figured I’d pop by and see how you were.” He switched out four cards from his own hand, and continued icily, “Haven’t seen you in a while, after all.”

Chris felt the venom that laced the remark and shuddered as he rearranged his hand. “I’ve just been really busy lately.”

“Sure,” Piers said unconvinced. His captain must’ve known that it was a terrible lie, because his posture slumped a little more. The dealer laid his cards down first. “Full house.”

Chris set down his own hand. “Straight.” Piers raised an eyebrow. He knows poker is a game that’s almost entirely luck based. But he can’t seem to recall a single time he’s beaten his captain.

“One hell of a poker face you’ve got.”

“So be honest,” Chris said, pushing aside the deck, “why are you here, Piers? You couldn’t seriously just have come by to say hi and play cards.” Well, that didn’t last long. Piers reminded himself that while his captain might not be the smartest guy ever, he isn’t oblivious.

“You’re right. I didn’t.” He gestured for Chris to come sit next to him. With a subtle glance of confusion, Chris went to set his bowl down by the sink without cleaning it and returned to his seat. Their eyes met, but only for a moment.

“Is something the matter?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Sure. What about?”

“You.”

“What about me?” Out of his peripherals, Chris could notice that Piers’ posture was uncharacteristically soft and unimposing.

“Are you okay?” He grimaced. For only three words, there was a lot of weight to them. It felt to Chris as though the very air itself was trying to collapse in on him all of a sudden. He was never one to talk much about his feelings. He liked to keep it that way. As such, when asked so plainly like that, he didn’t really know how to respond.

“Come on, Piers. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“What, you want a list?” Wrong response, Chris thought as he winced at the sharp tone of Piers’ voice. “Captain, you’ve been through more in a single lifetime than some people would across three. And don’t think I haven’t noticed how much you’ve been staying inside lately.” The young man’s eyes traced his forlorn face intently. “You’re running away from it all again, Chris.”

There was some silence, save for the sound of the two men occasionally shifting on the couch. Chris had his eyes firmly locked on the carpeted floor of his apartment. It was only maybe a minute, but it felt like an hour to him before he could finally speak up.

“What would you like me to say?”

“What I’d  _ like _ is for you to be honest to someone. I don’t need to ask to know that you’ve never been to a therapist. You’re too stubborn for that.” Piers leaned forward on his knees. “But look. Keeping everything wrapped up inside isn’t good for you. It’s going to burst out again someday. And you remember what happened last time. You wanna end up punch drunk in bars nightly again?”

“Of course I don’t, Piers,” Chris muttered, “but it isn’t like this is easy to talk about.”

“I know it isn’t. That’s why I thought maybe it’d be easy to talk to someone you’re already comfortable with.”

“Piers…”

“Captain, please.” Piers asked more firmly. “I’m not the only person you’ve been avoiding. And yes, I know that’s what you’re doing. Do you think Jill and I’re stupid? You haven’t looked me in the eyes since I showed up. Hell, you don’t even sound happy that I’m here!”

Another uncomfortable weight was placed on Chris’ shoulders. Crushing. Crushing. Crushing him down into place on that couch that he just couldn’t bring himself to get off of. He wanted to run, but his legs wouldn’t let him. And how could he? He thought Piers had died. He  _ watched  _ Piers die. For him. But here he is, right in front of him, alive as can be. And trying to get to his core. Of course he was happy to see his partner. Why wouldn’t he be? But something was stopping him from proving that to him. He’s so close, and yet it feels like there’s miles between them. He had to speak up, had to say  _ some _ thing. He didn’t know how long he was sitting there silently for, but it must’ve been quite some time, because Piers muttered something and began to make for the door.  _ Say something _ , Chris cursed at himself,  _ say something God dammit! _

“Piers, please don’t leave me!” He managed to choke out. The young man froze as his hand met the doorknob. His head turned back to his captain, who suddenly looked so small sitting on his couch all alone. “Please don’t go.” Chris was never one for pleading. To Piers’ knowledge, Chris was made out of nothing besides muscles and stubborn determination. He was expecting him to just let him leave quietly. But there he was, head hanging down in his apartment. Vulnerable. All by himself. Was this truly the legendary hero Chris Redfield, who survived hell on earth time and time again? But, he thought, maybe that hero was just a made up myth all along. Chris is human, just like anyone else. And right now, he’s hurting. Right now, he’s alone with his fears. Piers sighed softly, and walked back over, sat right next to Chris and placed a soft hand on his shoulder.

“Captain?”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was hardly more than a whisper. “I just haven’t...I’ve never had the time to talk. No one’s ever asked. It’s always been one nightmare after another for me. No breaks. No vacation days. Nothing.” As he spoke, he looked down into his palms. “These hands have spent more time holding guns in the last several years than they should’ve. It just never ended. I’ve been called a superhero.” Tears finally began to fall from his face. “But I’m nothing close. I’ve come so close to losing my loved ones over, and over, and over again. I watched Jill give her life for me without a second thought. I had to mourn her and get over it so I could get back in action. And then…” Chris wiped away a stray tear. “And then it happened again with you.”

“We’re still here, Captain.”

“But you  _ weren’t. _ And I had no way of knowing that.” Finally, their eyes met for the first time that night. Piers saw the years of anguish and anxiety in his superior’s teary eyes. “Please don’t think I’m not happy that you’re here, Piers. I couldn’t be happier to see you alive and well. But you need to understand, I thought you were gone forever, and being face to face with someone that I failed, who still chose to give his life up for me, it hurts more than any gunshot or wound I’ve ever had.”

Gentle sobs started to sound from the old soldier’s throat. Not thinking, Piers began to stroke Chris’s back delicately. Though he tensed up for just a moment at the touch, he quickly eased into the unfamiliar feeling.

“What about your sister? You two don’t talk?”

“Claire?” Chris sniffled. “No, not a lot. We deal with the same sort of shit. We’ve learned to just try and laugh it off. She’s always busy with her work, so we don’t get to see each other much.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “But hell, it’s my fault she’s in this shit too. If I hadn’t joined up with S.T.A.R.S., she never would’ve gotten trapped in Raccoon City during the outbreak.”

“You can’t seriously tell me that you hold yourself accountable for that,” Piers stated incredulously. “How could you have guessed that joining up with them would have you dealing with zombies? How could you have known that she would come looking for you?”

“I know that you’re right. I know deep down it can’t be my fault,” Chris admitted, beginning to shake, “but it still feels so horrible to know that the most important people in my life are always in danger because of me, intentionally or not. I haven’t been able to sleep lately.”

“I could tell,” Piers responded, “what’s got you up?”

“Nightmares. Wesker coming back to torment me again. But not by killing me, no.” Chris huddled in on himself as he continued, “He does it by killing the people I work so hard to keep safe. And making me watch.”

“Wesker? But Wesker’s dead. You watched him die.”

“I know I did. But I watched him die before Kijuju, too.” Chris leaned back and took a deep breath. “The Arklay Mansion incident. At the tail end of that horror show, Wesker unveiled his Tyrant prototype. But it didn’t work quite as well as he’d hoped. It ended up impaling him through the chest. He was dead for sure. After I took care of that abomination, I checked his pulse to be sure. No heart rate. No breathing. Way too much blood loss.” A scowl split his face. “Yet even with all that, he came back to haunt me.”

“Okay, true, but that was because those wounds were easily fixed when that dormant supervirus came alive inside of him,” Piers countered. “Superhuman or not, I don’t think being melted in the lava of an active volcano is easy to come back from.”

“You make it sound so rational,” the older man mused. “I wish that I could still do that. But after all the bullshit that I’ve seen, I don’t think being rational is an option for me anymore.”

They sat still for a bit. Piers just kept rubbing Chris’ back until his breathing started to settle down.

“I just can’t deal with the idea that I might lose someone I love ever again,” he breathed, “not because of me.”

“Listen to me, captain,” Piers said, looking directly into Chris’ eyes, “I might be making an assumption on behalf of Claire and Jill, but we put ourselves in harm’s way for you because you are every bit as important to us as we are to you. And you need to know that. We do it because we care about you. Because we…” he trailed off. Chris wiped his eyes, and pressed him.

“Because you..?” A light flush rose to Piers’ cheeks as he turned away from his captain, with a harsh look on his face.

“Nothing, I just lost my train of thought,” he lied. Chris didn’t really seem to notice though. They sat quietly together for a bit longer. At some point, Piers turned the TV back on and started watching a basketball game. Chris was sitting very still, contemplating their discussion. The atmosphere suddenly didn’t feel quite as oppressive anymore. Maybe, he thought, talking about my anxieties isn’t so bad once in a while. He looked over at Piers, who was lost in the game on the TV.

“Hey, Piers?”

“Captain?”

Chris grabbed him and pulled him into a tender hug. The young man’s eyes widened in surprise. Was this  _ seriously _ the same Captain Redfield he had worked alongside? He sure wasn’t acting like it. “Thank you. But please, stop calling me captain. I don’t work for the BSAA anymore.” He moved back and placed his hand softly on his former subordinate’s shoulder. “You can call me Chris, you know.”

“I don’t know if I can, actually.”

“What if I told you that was an order?” Chris teased gruffly. Immediately, Piers’ face lit up bright red as he stared at his feet.

“I’ll...try to work on that. Chris.” The ex-captain gave his usual confident smile for the first time in a while, then checked the clock.

“Hey, it’s getting awfully late. Did you want to crash here for the night?” Piers scratched his head.

“Yeah, I was gonna ask if that was okay actually. I hadn’t booked a room anywhere yet.”

“Of course it’s fine. C’mon, let’s head to bed after the game’s done.”

“Sounds good.”

———————————————

It was nearly midnight when the two men had finally decided it was time for them to get ready for bed. The basketball game had ended around nine, so they switched to a comedy show by a stand up artist they hadn’t heard before. They were laughing and retelling their favorite jokes as they stepped into Chris’ bedroom.

“Alright, I dunno ‘bout you Piers, but I need to hop into the shower. I’ve, uh…” Chris scratched his head absentmindedly, “I’ve been slacking on my cleanliness a bit these last couple days.”

“It’s alright, I understand. I could rinse too. You can go ahead n shower first though.”

“Why not just shower together? There’s room for us both in there.” The straightforwardness of the suggestion made the vibrant red hue rush back to Piers’ face again.

“What are you talking about, sir!? Why would we do that?”

“To save time and water. Besides, we’ve shared showers before, haven’t we?”

_ Yeah, because we had to! _ Piers panicked in his head. How could he really suggest something like that so casually? It’s not like he really minded, so to speak, but frankly that was exactly why this was a problem to him. He sighed shakily. “Alright, you have a point. Let’s make it quick then.”

“Sure, I’m already falling asleep anyways. We’ll keep it short.”

Chris started up the water, turning the heat up a little higher than most people like, then started throwing off his old pajamas. Piers, on the other hand, was desperately trying to avoid staring anywhere near Chris. The older man stepped into the steamy shower and shut the glass door. Finally feeling like he was allowed to breathe again, Piers started to undress too, cursing under his breath the whole time.  _ Why the hell did I say yes? Dumbass. _ Chris’ whistling from the shower brought him back to the present though, and he realized he was just wasting time standing around in the nude. He took a deep breath, and squeezed into the shower with his former captain.

“Hey, there you are! Forget how to take your clothes off or something?”

“Oh, shut it, I was just thinking about something.” Piers turned his head slightly, as it was stuck almost directly in Chris’ chest. “I should’ve realized that when you said there’d be enough space that you didn’t factor in your muscles.”

Chris chuckled. “Hey, no need to be jealous. If you exercise as much as I do, you’ll look like this too.” He surveyed his old partner once over. “But you don’t look that bad as is. Seems like you’ve already put on some more weight since the last time I saw you.”

“I’ve been eating better, I guess.” Piers swapped places with Chris and flinched a little when the hot water splashed against his skin. “Jesus, what’s with the heat!?”

“Hot showers help me feel better,” Chris answered while shampooing his hair. “Feels like I’m burning away the day and starting fresh, y’know?” Piers nodded as he washed out the styling gel that he used today.

“Makes sense to me.” They went to swap places again. As they shifted past each other, Chris lightly held onto Piers’ arm. Since there wasn’t a lot of space, they ended up brushing up against each other, which got Piers a little riled up. But judging by the gentle smile on Chris’ face, he must not have noticed. He passed Piers the bar of soap.

“Mind getting my back for me, partner?” Piers swallowed nervously and nodded.

“Yeah, not at all.” Lathering the soap, Piers took a deep breath and started scrubbing his former captain down. As he cleaned, he couldn’t help but admire the well toned physique of a man who had remained so active for most of his life. His hands worked slower, tracing the subtle scars from the numerous injuries he had suffered from who even knows what.

“Not that I mind you taking your time,” Chris interrupted, “but is something wrong Piers? You’re being really delicate.”

“I just don’t think I’ve ever paid attention to all your scars before.” He traced one sorrowfully with his thumb. “You really have been through the wringer.” Chris chuckled softly.

“Years of fighting. Years of surviving. They’ll do that to ya, Piers.”

“What a shame,” Piers whispered, “to ruin such a handsome man like that.” Seeing as how his ex-captain didn’t react, he must not have heard him. He thanked his lucky stars for that one.

“Come on, turn around. It’s your turn.”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Piers handed him back the soap, and felt Chris’ strong hands going to work. He let out a small breath involuntarily.

“Feels nice to have someone take care of you, doesn’t it?” Chris smiled. “Enjoy it, kid.”

“Kid? I’m 27, dude.”

“Still a kid to me.” They laughed a little, and relaxed in the steam of the shower, chatting to keep the easy mood going.

———————————————

Chris tossed Piers a pair of briefs to slip into while he slid into his athletic underwear. “Here, these should fit you alright for tonight.”

“Thanks.” The young man stepped into the shorts, surprised that they fit, and took a seat at the edge of Chris’ bed. “Anything else before we hit the hay?”

“Not that I can think of.” Chris shut off the lights and got under the blankets.

“Alright,” Piers started, standing up from where he was, “I’ll go take the couch then.”

“Huh? What’re you talking about?”

“Where else would I sleep?”

“Right here. It’s a king sized bed. And I can guarantee you that it’s comfier than that old sofa.” Piers blushed a little again.

“Are you sure that’s okay?”

“I’m offering, aren’t I?” Chris pulled back the blanket and patted the space next to him. “Come on.”

“Alright, alright. Thanks.” Piers climbed into bed with Chris, and got comfortable. “Good night.”

“Good night, Piers.”

Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes were coming to an hour. Piers couldn’t rest. His heart kept beating too rapidly. He had been closer to Chris today than he had for the whole time they’ve known each other. And he wasn’t sure why that made his chest feel like bursting.

On the other side, Chris tossed and turned, trying desperately to sleep, but it just wouldn’t come to him. His nightmares had imprinted themselves on his eyelids. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw Jill dying. He saw Sheva dying. He saw Piers. He couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to see it again.

“Still having trouble sleeping?” came Piers’ voice next to him. Chris rolled over to see those almond eyes looking right at him.

“Yeah,” Chris breathed. “Yeah. It’s...a lot of things.”

“I know,” Piers said calmly. Maybe if he kept talking, it might help Chris relax, he thought. “Has anyone stayed the night here with you before?”

“No, never,” Chris admitted. “I’ve never had the time to have people stay over. Never felt right.”

“No girlfriends or anything?”

“Not one. I don’t think I’ve met anyone lately that I’d been interested in.”

“I hear you,” Piers said, rolling over to stare at the ceiling. “With the state of the world and my work, I didn’t really have the time for anyone either.” There was a bit of quiet while Piers tried to think of something else for them to talk about. “When  _ was  _ the last time you were dating someone?”

“When?” Chris blushed. “Jeez, I...really don’t know. It’s been more than ten years, that’s for sure.”

“ _ Seriously? _ ”

“Don’t sound so surprised!” Chris chuckled, “Yeah, it must’ve been right around the time I had left the Air Force. Real goofy. Made me laugh a lot. But,” he sighed, “obviously it didn’t work out for us. We liked each other, but maybe not quite in  _ that  _ way enough. They’re married now. Two really sweet daughters, too.”

“And you haven’t been with anyone? Anyone at all since then?”

“Nope,” Chris shook his head. “Just me, myself, and I. Although…”

“Although?”

“Well, Jill and I  _ tried _ to get together for a bit.” He laughed as he thought back on it, and rested his hand on his head. “ _ Totally _ didn’t work for us. We’d been friends for too long. It just felt weird. Plus, our personal tastes didn’t match as much as we thought they did.”

“What do you mean by that?” Piers snorted.

“It’s not important. Just know it didn’t work out.”

Piers leaned up to look at him again. “Doesn’t this ever get lonely though? Just hanging around this apartment by yourself?”

“Of course it does,” a sad smile crept up as he replied. “I want nothing more than to have someone to fall asleep with and to wake up to. But it just...hasn’t happened.” Chris rolled over onto his side. “Maybe one day, kid.”

There it was again. Piers looked at Chris, who had his back turned to him. And once again, he looked so small and lonely. There were a few seconds while the young man thought to himself, before he just took a deep breath and did what he felt was right to do.

Chris’ eyes opened wide as he felt Piers’ arm wrap around him, their bodies fitted snugly together like two little spoons in a drawer. “Well,” Piers started, “you have me here with you, Chris.”

He couldn’t bring himself to move. The way he said his name sent a small shiver down his spine. Piers’ body was so warm and comforting. It was too much for him. Tears started to drop slowly from his eyes. He took a shaky breath and wiped his face.

“Are you okay?”

Chris rolled over to face his young friend. “No one’s held me like that in so long. I had almost forgotten what it felt like.” He placed a hand on Piers’ face. “Thank you.”

Piers’ breathing got faster. Chris’ face was only inches from his own. Why did he feel so warm staring into those honey brown eyes? Why was his heart racing when he looked at that brawny chest? He moved without thinking.

Chris felt Piers’ kiss before he could say anything. Piers’ lips were rough, but there was a strange gentleness to the kiss, as if he weren’t sure of himself. But it made him feel loved. Like he was special. He closed his eyes slowly and melted into the kiss. They stayed like that for some time before coming apart.

“I’m...sorry about that, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Piers, it’s fine.” He smiled softly. “That was really nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” Piers stammered.

“So, you have a little crush on your old captain?” Chris teased. Piers turned bright red.

“Oh, cut it out.”

“I felt you in the shower, you know. And heard you.”

“Alright, enough! So maybe I do,” he said, rolling over so his back was turned to Chris, “what about it?” Chris slid his arm around Piers’ waist and pulled him in close. Piers heated up more when he felt Chris pressing against him.

“I think it’s cute.” Chris placed a small kiss on Piers’ neck, “But you don’t think I’m a little too old for you?”

“What do you mean ‘too old’?” Piers grumbled. “You’re only in your thirties, aren’t you?” Chris snorted.

“You’re very sweet, Piers, but I’m 41.”

“Wait, what? I swear you look just a few years older than I do.”

“It’s the muscles you like to look at so much.” Piers groaned poutily at the constant teasing. Clearly he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought. But whatever, he thought, it seemed like Chris was just fine with it. “Now, that’s enough chit chat. It’s almost one in the morning. We really ought to get some sleep.”

They adjusted a little bit, shifting until they were both comfortably settled. The muffled sounds of cars in the city streets outside helped to finally bring the two of them to sleep.

“Chris?”

“Yeah?”

A pause. “I love you.”

“I love you too, kid.”

That night, with Piers hugged tight to his chest, was the first night in a long time that Chris had felt so at peace. He had no nightmare that night. No anxiety. Only the soothing sound of someone he loved snoring softly beside him. And he knew then that he would be okay eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah someone’s been super SUPER into RE lately. picked up the games for my switch, dreamcast, and ps4 a few months ago and got fuckin HOOKED. I’ve beaten all of em except Nemesis and 6, which I’m working on right now, and my fucking God im thirsty for Chris Redfield. not my fault capcom himbofied him hard in RE5.
> 
> also fuck capcom, piers lived. somehow. the power of gay rights.
> 
> anyways. sorry for the SUPER inconsistent posting guys. i have no excuses. a bitch just cant stay focused lmao. hope you guy enjoyed this piece! leave some comments and kudos if you’d like, they’re always welcome! Love y’all <3


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